The Wonnacotts’ November: On business trips, my last full month of student teaching, and Thanksgiving in Coeur d’Alene

Dear Family,

This month began with Luke in Arizona. Work had never taken him further than Tremonton, Utah before then, but I suppose a longer and farther business trip was inevitable.

He was in Arizona for a day to visit some clients before heading over to Las Vegas for a three-day conference. Luckily his aunt and uncle live in Las Vegas, so he wasn’t completely alone there.

He seemed to have a good time, and I think that being sent to your first conference all by yourself is probably a pretty cool feeling. Though by the end of the three days, he seemed ready to come home.

He was not, however, ready enough that he would take the train from the airport all the way to Provo, but instead decided to go to work for the remainder of the day on Thursday on the day he flew home. So, I picked him up at five o’clock, as is his usual time.

This four-day absence had two serious effects on me.

The first is that I was alone, and at times very obviously so. When attending a married student ward, people notice when your spouse is missing, and is the first point of conversation. When answering these questions, I realized that I couldn’t instantly recall the state in which Las Vegas resides. “He’s in Arizona for a day, and then he’ll be in…Las Vegas…for another three days,” is what I would say. Even when I finally worked through the states in my head and remembered that there’s that one called Nevada, I still told people that Luke was in Arizona and then Las Vegas. Because really, that’s where he was. He wasn’t in “Nevada.”

I was grateful to notice that I have enough of a network at church that none of the times people asked me this question did I feel judged or nervous or anything other than loved and supported when I explained where he was.

I had several friends say that I could reach out to them at any time that week and they’d love to spend time with me. I even had one friend say, “I’ll reach out in the next few days and see if you want to do something together,” which I honestly think is a very insightful offer.

It made me feel really loved and seen. I love the ward I’m in now and I’m grateful that I have been capable of building relationships with people who can help me feel supported rather than judged or just pitied.

It doesn’t even really matter to me that that friend forgot to reach out during the time Luke was gone. The offer did what it needed to do, and I appreciate that.

The second effect of Luke’s absence was my access to the car we share for my drive to school. For four days, there was no scooting to work and it was heavenly.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the scooter. The scooter took me so many places. I’m realizing now that I never named the scooter, which seems like a serious oversight. But being warm on the way to school, and leaving the house at the same time but getting there eight minutes earlier, and not having to hope that none of my students will see me at the bike rack at the end of the day…it was just really nice.

Perhaps it was my raving review of having the car for a few days, or Luke’s guilt over his wife scooting everywhere sinking in, or my own unconscious hinting, but a few days after Luke got home from his conference, we had bought a second car.

At the time it felt like a great idea. I wouldn’t have to feel a thrill of terror while scooting through the pitch black woods at 6:30 in the morning, thinking of people like Ted Bundy and whoever his successor will be every time I detected movement in the indiscernible trees. Luke talked the car’s price down to a pretty great deal and we had enough money to buy it and continue to live if we both lost our jobs for a little while, which tends to be our standard.

But as soon as we actually bought it, I started feeling self-conscious. I guess I don’t really need my own car. I mean, it’ll be really nice for getting to and from school, but come December 5th I won’t necessarily need to be somewhere at the same time every day anymore. But then of course, I’ll probably substitute teach until I find somewhere else to work, and that could take me places much further than Provo High. But also, many couples with two working participants make it work with just one car. Luke and I did for a long time in Vineyard. He would give me a ride in the morning and I would take the bus home, which sometimes would take upwards of two hours and involve a lot of walking, but that’s how it goes sometimes.

Luke’s older siblings who are married shared one car for a long time. His oldest brother and his wife with their two kids still do have just the one car. And his parents reportedly shared one car for years.

Not to say that Luke’s family hasn’t been excited for us after we bought our second car, but they were teasing Luke about it the other day and it did kind of reinforce a bit of my guilt over wanting my own car so badly.

Oh well, I’m an adult and can deal with the consequences of my actions.

And I will do it in the warmth and safety of a car on my way to school every morning.

Some other highlights of this month include Marianne’s and Luke’s high school friend Erick’s overlapping trips to Utah. We saw much more of Erick than Marianne, as Erick stayed at our house and Marianne’s primary purpose was visiting the people who won’t be in Maryland for Christmas (so, not me or Luke).

Luke wanted to take Erick around to all of the cool things that are uniquely Utah. Or at least, distinctly not Maryland.

The list we came up with as Marylanders:

• Mountains
• Shooting ranges
• Swig (dirty soda)
• Crumbl Cookies
• Raising Canes
• Temple Square and associated musical groups

Erick seemed to enjoy most of these great pleasures that Utah has to offer. He even tried to stop by Swig for some caffeine after attending the first hour of our church with us, but was sad to discover that it was closed on Sunday. A rude awakening, I’m sure, for many choosing to spend a weekend in Utah.

On Sunday, we got to see a very different aspect of Utah than we did on Saturday. We drove up to Temple Square to watch Music and the Spoken Word live, something neither Luke nor Erick had done before. Then we quickly walked around square and through the Conference Center before returning home for church.

I’m not sure how to feel when I’m on Temple Square other than simply familiar with it. The further out I get from my mission, the more I realize how much more I think about Ukraine and my time there than Temple Square. But I do have powerful memories there, and it’s good to reflect on them when I’m there.

I’m starting now to wonder what it will feel like to come back to Provo High in the future, as I’m about to start my very last week of student teaching. I can’t really believe that I’m at this point, and I’m not sure what I’m going to feel on Friday, December 5th. I’m excited for a break, but it feels wrong to be leaving my students so soon. I love them all so much and I like being with them.

I like to think that I taught them some things as well, but we’ll see. Or, at least, my mentor teacher will.

This month, my tenth graders finished their unit on Greek myth and literature, while my seniors have been writing an argument about a topic of their choice. My tenth graders were thrilled when we watched Disney’s Hercules together so that they could “write a claim comparing and contrasting the role fate plays in Oedipus the King and Hercules.”

They’d been asking to watch it the whole term and so I eventually came up with a reason to let them.

And one of my favorite moments all semester was hearing all of the students who were paying attention yell, “Thebes!” when it was mentioned in the movie because they recognized it as the setting of Oedipus.

Reading their venn diagrams later, I saw that the majority of them had put “Thebes” in the intersection of the diagram of the role fate plays in both stories. Some even put an exclamation mark after it.

Another great moment was one day when my fourth period seemed to sense my weakness one day. For whatever reason, third period had totally tired me out and I was trying to let fourth period be a new leaf, but I think they could tell I was a little out of it.

And so they made me laugh. I have no idea how it started, but when I was so tired, they became the most engaged and entertaining I had ever seen them. Instead of ignoring me and going to sleep, or taking advantage by chatting with their friends, the whole class started talking to me, asking who my celebrity crushes were, what my husband was like, did we want kids, and I kept trying to answer until the last one and then I was just laughing and laughing because they could not for the life of them understand why I would ever have a crush on Eddie Redmayne in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

It made me feel so warm inside to just laugh with them for a few minutes.

I feel like I truly hit my stride at some point this month, and both lesson planning and grading became so much more doable. I asked my students to fill out a survey to give me feedback and got a good mixture of critical and positive feedback. One thing I felt overjoyed to read was the feedback that said I was always kind, patient, and willing to reexplain directions to students individually who didn’t understand the first time. A lot of my students seem to feel that I actually like them, which makes me very glad.

Most of the constructive feedback I got revolved around lessons being boring or me not being enough of a disciplinarian. I’ve tried to reinforce the rules that are most important a little more actively and also, I think, done a much better job having students engage in group activities that help them teach themselves rather than just listen to me at the front of the room.

I’m not perfect, but I’m trying, and I think I’m continuing to get better even in this last week of teaching.

The other day one of my students expressed that one of our activities was the most enjoyable while still productive lessons he’d ever had. That made me happy.

This last week of the month has perhaps been my most eventful.

On Sunday, I was in the worst pain I’ve ever been in, which might be an exaggeration, but I’ve had a pretty cushy life, so it might not be. My tooth was absolutely killing me. I couldn’t sleep through the night because my ibuprofen wouldn’t last that long, and I had my head in Luke’s lap for all of sacrament meeting except for the five minutes I spent accompanying a nice guy in my ward on piano for his musical number. He totally sped up at some point and I completely fumbled several measures, but I honestly didn’t care too much because the moments spent focusing on playing piano in front of my whole ward served as brief distraction from the constant agony I was in.

Eventually, Luke called an emergency dentist in Provo and we went in right before they closed. They found that a root canal I’d gotten maybe two or three years ago was infected. I needed an antibiotic, but the real fixes were a second root canal or an extraction.

The really fun wrench in the works was that I apparently don’t have dental insurance in Utah. It only exists and is recognized in the DMV.

You may be thinking, Sophie, you should’ve figured this out a long time ago since you’ve been living in Utah since 2020.

Yeah, well.

I went with extraction, partially because it was way cheaper and partially because I couldn’t imagine waiting for an Endodontist to be available to give me an opinion on whether a second root canal would be feasible.

The moment they numbed my gums I was in heaven, and sure I have still been relying on Tylenol and ibuprofen to keep me happy all week, but now that the antibiotics seem to be working, it’s much more tolerable.

We’re thinking a flight to Maryland might be worth getting an implant from someone who takes my insurance, but that’s for the future.

Now I’m in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, where Luke and I had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner at Roland and Marci’s house. I haven’t been up here in years, and it’s lovely to get to spend so much time with them again, along with Grandma Carolyn, Grandpa Pat, Fae, Noah, and Noah’s family. It’s funny that we cousins (all of us Utah residents) have to come to northern Idaho to spend time together.

It’s been so fun to spend this time with them. Of all of our long weekend trips to visit family, this is my and Luke’s first time traveling to stay with some of my extended family. It was also our longest drive yet, clocking in at around eleven hours. Well, if you don’t count the Colorado Springs overnight disaster back in February.

We started getting flashbacks to our drive to Colorado Springs when it started snowing four hours out from Coeur d’Alene. The first snow of the year there, if you can believe our luck. But the roads weren’t that bad and there was hardly anyone around, so the drive was relatively uncomplicated, for which I am very thankful.

Roland and Marci have been wonderful hosts and we’ve had fun playing with Noah and Amber’s small children, jumping into the cold lake, and generally catching up with my Kent relatives.

I was also so excited to learn that my good Provo friends, Abby and Emma Griffitts, were coming to their home in Coeur d’Alene for the holiday. Luke and I visited them briefly on Wednesday night and met their family. There are few things that make me happier than knowing I have friends who like me enough to see me on their vacation.

We’ll be embarking on our drive home on Sunday after an 8:30 am sacrament meeting here. Hopefully we get home in plenty of time to feel prepared for normal life again on Monday, when I will kick off my last week of teaching by helping my students recover from my last round of grading all of their missing assignments.

I suppose I haven’t said it explicitly, but I hope my gratitude for many things have come through in this letter. My friends, my family, my ward, my students, and my situation in life right now all assist in my general happiness and I am grateful for all of them. I know that I am fortunate in my life, and I’m grateful for these letters that I feel my father has given me as a chance to reflect on all of those wonderful things and remember that I really am blessed.

Luke is someone who inspires me to remember this often, as he is just so giving. I like to think of myself as generous and willing to give to those who need more than I do, but Luke just loves giving. He scares me sometimes with his suggestions for gifts or kind gestures, even though I can logically see what we are capable of giving. I’m excited to go into our first Christmas season together and see just how much good we can do at this stage of our lives.

I hope you are well. Luke and I are happy. Sometimes tired, overwhelmed, or worried as most people are, but generally happy. I am grateful for anyone who cares about me or takes enough interest in my life to read this, and I hope that you will reach out if you ever want or need to.

Love,

Sophie