Dear Family, Attendees of Carrie’s wedding in Portland earlier this month may have heard something about a boorish (and possibly inebriated) guest who, only seconds after being told for the tenth time in two hours that the dessert table was still off limits, angrily thrust his right paw into the center of a large plate…
Ari’s EPISTOLARIUS — May-Sept 2023
Dear Family, If you are reading this, you may have noticed a couple of things. First and foremost, I have not written a letter since April. I swear I’ve been meaning to, but I only ever manage to find the motivation in the middle of a month, at which point I think, “Well, I should…
SOPHIE UPDATE — Aug 2023
(Image above: Me in a field of flowers on Y Mountain) Dear Family, A few of my Willis relatives expressed a desire to stay updated with my life while I’m away at college. I’m flattered that you all still want something to do with me even when I’ve given you the perfect excuse to forget…
On beautiful vistas, happy reunions, and finding solace around the holes our departing children leave (vol. xxvii, no. 8)
Dear Family, A week or two ago, a fellow member of our neighborhood’s informal cycling club was depositing his only child – a girl of extraordinary academic and athletic achievement whom Grace has known since elementary school – at a certain prestigious university in Pennsylvania. He shared with our group of mostly middle-aged dads (and…
On day-dependent patriotism, Sophie’s exhausting-sounding social life, major awards, and the legend of Gabe Ossi (vol. xxvii, no. 7)
Dear Family, I have a complicated relationship with the Fourth of July. This has nothing to do with patriotic ambivalence. Notwithstanding the insanity of our road system, too many d@mn cars, and the lack of a viable political party where I feel I belong, I feel fortunate to have been born here. I am grateful…
On the virtues of tolerable graduation ceremonies, avoiding Beach Week debauchery, and embracing Taylor Swift (vol. xxvii, no. 6)
Dear Family, Certain relatives (and my old friend Colby Jenkins) might be interested to learn that I just signed up to run the St. George Marathon on October 7. Why would someone travel more than 2,000 miles just to run a marathon? I’m so glad you asked! I have completed 13 marathons in my life…
On Grace’s last everything, ill-fitting suits, and yet another new church job (vol. xxvii, no. 5)
Dear Family, If you would have asked me five years ago whether I planned to show up for Grace’s “clap-out” ceremony – that thing where underclassmen line the the halls and clap in recognition of the seniors as they parade around the school and out the front door on their last day of class —…
Ari’s EPISTOLARIUS — Apr 2023
Dear Family, Today, I learned what color a blue crab is. And no, I do not mean that I just discovered that there is a species of crustacean called the blue crab. I am a Marylander, born and raised, so I have been aware of the existence of these azure arthropods for longer than I…
On Crystal’s new job, Hannah’s old one, and further evidence that I may have been born in the wrong country (vol. xxvii, no. 4)
Dear Family, Before I get to the France trip, let’s get some church business out of the way. A month ago, right around the time I was posting the March letter, the bishopric in which I was a counselor was released. The new bishop happened to be the husband of the Relief Society president, and…
Ari’s EPISTOLARIUS – March 2023
Saturday, April 1, 2023 [Post-editorial note: Well, this is embarrassingly late.] Dear Family, April Fools! This letter is coming out late. Betcha thought I was going to write this earlier, didn’t you? So did I. So I guess the real April Fool is me. I don’t know exactly when this will actually be posted, since…